If you're scared for your teen, that makes sense
Wanting help for your kid doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It means you're paying attention, which is exactly what they need. You don't have to know what's wrong, or have the right words, to reach out.
Trusting your gut is the right first step
A lot of parents sit with a worried feeling for months before they call anyone, talking themselves out of it. "Maybe it's just a phase." "Maybe I'm making too much of it." "Every teenager is moody." Sometimes it is ordinary teenage stuff, and that's genuinely good news.
But your gut is worth listening to. If something about your kid feels different enough that you're reading this, that's reason enough to have a conversation. You don't have to wait until things get bad enough to "count," and there's no prize for toughing it out alone.
What's worth paying attention to
You know your kid better than anyone. These are some of the shifts worth noticing:
- Pulling away from family and from things they used to love
- Sleeping a lot more or a lot less than usual, or big changes in eating
- Mood swings, irritability, or tearfulness that feel bigger than the situation
- A sudden new friend group, or secrecy about where they are and who they're with
- Slipping grades, skipped classes, or a real drop in motivation
- Letting go of basic self-care, or seeming checked out most of the time
Any one of these can have plenty of explanations. It's the pattern, or the gut feeling, that's worth a closer look. And to be clear, you don't need to check a certain number of boxes to deserve support.
What working with your teen looks like
Most teenagers don't show up thrilled to be in therapy, and that's fine. A big part of my job is building enough trust that your teen actually talks, which usually means being someone who won't lecture them or repeat everything to you.
We start by getting a real picture of what's going on, then we work on practical skills for whatever's underneath it, whether that's anxiety, low mood, grief, a hard transition, or substance use. It happens at their pace, weekly or every other week, in person in Boulder or online.
How parents are involved, and how confidentiality works
You're part of this, on purpose
You're not shut out. We'll talk at the start about how you'll stay in the loop, and there are points along the way where bringing you into a session makes a lot of sense. I'll also help you tell the difference between normal teen stuff and something worth addressing, so you're not guessing.
Why your teen gets some privacy
For a teenager to open up, they have to trust that their space is theirs. So the content of our sessions stays private, with one firm exception: anything involving their safety, which I will always bring to you. We go over exactly where that line sits right up front, so everyone's clear.
Worried about your teen's drinking or drug use?
If your teen's drinking or drug use is the thing keeping you up, you're not overreacting, and you're not alone in it. I've spent more than ten years working on alcohol and drug use as both a researcher and a clinician, so this is the part I know best.
My approach with teens is harm reduction, which means we get curious about what the use is doing for them and what's driving it, rather than leading with lectures or scare tactics that tend to make kids shut down. There's real hope here, especially early, and family involvement can be a meaningful part of it. For parents of teens with heavier alcohol or drug use, parent coaching may also be an option, so ask about it on your consult call.
When your teen won't come in
One of the most common things I hear from parents: "I think my kid needs help, but they won't go." That's maddening, and it does not mean you're stuck. Here's what a lot of parents don't realize. You don't need your teen's buy-in to start making things better. There's good evidence that when parents change how they respond to a struggling teen, the teen's symptoms can improve, even if the teen never sets foot in a session.
That's where parent coaching comes in. We work on how to talk to your teen so they don't shut down, how to respond to worrying behavior (including drinking or using) without blowing up the relationship, and how to keep the door open so that if they ever are ready, they'll walk through it. You don't have to wait for your teen to be ready to get support yourself.
There's no such thing as reaching out too soon
If you take one thing from this page, let it be this. You don't have to wait for a crisis, a diagnosis, or absolute certainty to make a call. Earlier is almost always easier, for your teen and for you, and the worst case of reaching out "too soon" is a free 15-minute conversation that puts your mind at ease.
Let's talk about your teen
If you're worried about your kid, let's talk. The consult is free, there's no pressure, and you'll leave with a clearer sense of what to do next.
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